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No Regrets
By Terri

When I was asked to submit an article about something I'd accomplished in my life, I decided that the common thread of my experiences could be addressed instead. Simply put, my tenacity and a strong faith in God have served me well. My name is Terri Sleeva, I'm married, have a job with the Phone Company and I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) 18 years ago. There's nothing like a serious predicament (the MS, not the marriage) to alter one's perception of the world and force some self-examination. Through the school of hard knocks, I've learnt a few valuable lessons that I'd like to share with you.

It's so easy to focus on the negative (is there anything else?) aspects of illness and succumb to the powerful emotions that are generated only to one's peril. It took me 5 years to come to terms with the reality. It was then that I chose to change my focus and attitude with the realization that other people had hardships far greater than mine. One example was orphans in Romania. The local Social Services supervisor told me if I filled out the adoption papers, it would be an exercise in futility since they wouldn't approve the request based on my disclosure that I had MS. Henry Ford once said, " If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right." I'm proud to say that two of those Romanian kids are now my children.

Eventually, going to work was not an option for me due to MS fatigue but I still wanted to be employed. My support network of family and friends advised me to drop this idea and collect disability insurance from CPP but a strong desire to be productive prevailed. It took 4 years of patience to reach my goal of tele-commuting from home. The company supplied the necessary equipment and provided direct access for communication so I could remain in contact with other employees, etc. They also recognized my community involvement with various boards and committees. The lesson I learned was networking and a vision involving interested participants will succeed if you persevere and remain optimistic.

Being a parent reinforced my ambition to leave the world a better place for my children and others. There are so many things to do and so little time to do them in. My apprehension regarding not spending enough time with the children was abated when my son commented that he hoped to marry someone with MS so he could continue being involved in all the fun stuff. I became confined to a wheelchair about 6 years ago but I haven't let that slow me down so the kids think it's perfectly natural and another unique mode of transportation. If only the rest of the world was like my children and could see this unnecessary stigma for what it is.

Focusing on the positive aspects of life has had an enormous impact on how I perceive negative situations. Previously, I would have ignored facilitating change. Now creative solutions are developed with anticipation for the desired outcomes. And yes, being tenacious doesn't hurt either.

Some of Terri's other interests include: advocating for reasonable supports for people with disabilities (such as individualized funding, private home care, independent living, and access to public transportation); advocating for diversity inclusion by employers (race, disability, etc.); creating supportgroups; dealing with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and FAS/FAE (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Fetal Alcohol Effects) as a parent; international adoption; and other accessibility issues.